One of those days

Ahh I am just having one of those days ya know. I woke up this morning wanting to just cry and I was sad n depressed. I had a bad dream bout someone I cant stand. It was about him having an accident and he died. Yeah I cant stand him but I don't want him dead and the thought of him dieing the way he did in my dream is upsetting. I mean I wouldn't care if I ever saw his face again cause he is a POS but I don't want him dead. It just really upset me thinking bout it. I guess I just really have alot going on right now. I'm depressed and all I really wanna do is cry right now but whats the use, it wont do me any good. I just feel so alone most the time. It seems like everything is getting to me. I feel like I'm a burden to everyone when it comes to watching my kids. It feels like they cant stand my kids and don't wanna watch them n it upsets me. No my kids aren't perfect , who's is, but they are pretty good kids most the time. I just cant stand how certain people make me feel when it comes to watching them. They don't understand it either it makes them feel unloved. Why is some of the other kids can get more attention n all the BS but its like they aren't good enough. I mean I know what that's like feeling left out n not feeling important, I don't want my kids feeling that way too. They see things and are alot smarter than they look. Anyways, Idk I just have alot on my mind bout so much crap. I just wanna move sometimes just to be away from everyone but what good would that do, I would feel more alone then. Everything is just so hard right now. Being out of work to have the baby has put me behind n not having enough money for crap sucks. And my love life sucks cause I'm so alone n I Had someone that was giving me attention till he found someone else. Wow that made me feel special. Yeah he was to young but that's besides the point, being noticed was nice. I know its best for me right now not to have someone Else's crap to deal with but its lonely too though. Someones I just wish I had someone to hold me.But yeah I guess it could be worse but still I just want it to get better for once. I'm tired of the bad n stuff breaks im getting. I just wanna be happy for once.