Bout Me

Well my name is Misty..I am almost 31 yrs old, I now have 3 kids that are all girls. I pretty much just take care of kids n work n not much of anything else. I have a really boring life. Dont get me wrong, I love my kids n I wouldnt trade them for anything in the world.But I dont get much of a break n it kinda wears ya down sometimes.Being a mom of 3 is hard. Its alot of work. I dont see how people can have more than that, gotta have more patience than I do.I guess with how stressful my life has been that makes it harder. Maybe one day it will get better. I really try my hardest right now just to try to give my kids something and be a good mom to them. But its so hard cause I dont make enough money for anything n they have to do without so much. I dont get any help from their dads really so that hurts.I cant stand men who help make a baby but cannot help take care of them. Its not fair for the child to suffer cause they are selfish pieces of crap.My dad was around some when I was younger but that all changed and now he acts like he dont give a crap bout his kids or grandkids.It hurt me for so many yrs that I didnt have a dad around like I needed. I guess thats why I have become so needy when it comes to the guys I chose. I have certain memories that I remember growing up with my dad around but I dont really remember much. I pretty much blocked out alot from when I was younger. But I realize now that I dont need him cause I have my mother there and my step dad and thats enough for me. Carl is pretty much my dad. When I was younger,I use to be such a shy girl, which dont get me wrong I still can be that way but I was pretty bad. I wouldnt talk to anyone, always kept to myself. Always to scared to do anything or what people might think. I use to get made fun of so much when I was young. It was hard growing up. Alot went on around the house that I wish I didnt have to see.I know it was hard for mom takin care of 4 kids by herself. Ahh And I complain bout 3 lol. I am very thankful that I have my mom in my life, I couldnt make it a day without her,shes my best friend.I am thankful for everything she does for me n my kids. And Im also thankful for my sisters for always bein there. specially Crystal, they have to listen to me complain n cry all the time, and Im just glad they are there to listen cause If I had no one to talk to n just had myself to complain to ahh that would drive me crazy for real. Im crazy enough as it is lol. When I was younger I pictured my life so different from how it is now. I never thought that at 30 I would be a single mom with 3 kids doing all the work by myself. I really hoped for more out of my life. Sometimes I wish I was younger again to go back n change so many things, but dont we all wish that. But I believe that no matter how mistakes we have made in our lives and the things we regret doing, it makes us who we are today and everything happens for a reason even if we dont understand why it happens the way it does. It teaches us to learn from our mistakes and to do better in life and hopefully make ourselves better persons. Course some people you just cant change no matter how bad they are.I have done alot of things in my life that I regret and wish I wouldnt have, but I know now not to make those same mistakes again. I did alot of it cause I felt lonely and needed attention no matter how I got it. Heck I was married for 13 yrs and I screwed that up in a way that I shouldnt have. Which I knew it was over before things happened the way they did but still no excuse for how it happened on both our parts.I think I got married to young and married for the wrong reasons and it just ended badly cause we were both to unhappy with our life n ourselves.I am thankful that I got 2 beautiful girls out of that relationship anyways.That I will never regret. My 3rd child wasnt planned, we werent married n wasnt dating long enough to be thinking bout kids but it happened anyways. I think God sent me her for a reason. SHes a blessing. I may be takin care of her alone but I dont care, its worth it. Just seein her precious face everyday makes it worth it. It just hurts me how he lives not a minute away and he cant even be apart of her life. It burns me up. How can you see such a precious baby u made and not want to bond with her n let her get to know you.But as I look at it its his loss. I am thankful that Rodney gets the girls when he should at least, wish I could say the same for Blake.